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"The last time I
cried"

Autor: Ella-Renée
Datum: 13.01.2023
E-Mail: Feedback schreiben




I went from not knowing the last time I cried
to not being able to name the last day I didn't cry
But I am always the strong one who is there for everyone
even when I am broken

I cry quietly in my room
and hope no one notices
because I hate it when people see me differently
weak
and always wonder if I'm okay
I hate to lose control
but I was not in control when you died

I look at my reflection
I can see and feel my tears running down my cheeks
but it seems surreal
like everything since you died
and I can't tell you how sad it makes me that you will never be here again
There was a time I was mad at the universe for taking you away
but I no longer have the strength to be angry
there are waves of realization crashing on me
uncontrolled and with more power than I have left
and there is no one I can hold on to
because you are gone
and I am left with a feeling of emptiness and sadness
even in my happiest moments I think of you
and it makes me sad not to be able to share them with you

I know you wouldn't want me to have to go through all this
but it feels so wrong and hurts so terribly that you are not here
ever again

and despite everything I wipe my tears before i leave my room
so no one can see